last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
