So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
