Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
