apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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