piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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