were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
