NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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