I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
