You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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