here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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