OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
