Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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