"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
