It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
