the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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