I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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