My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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