I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
