i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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