He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
