hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
