That's intense
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
