ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
