Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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