I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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