ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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