ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
