i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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