it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize