I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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