that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
