peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's the barista slut.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
