I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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