someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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