Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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