Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize