Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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