I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
