Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize