My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
