It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
