I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We left the knife in your bed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
