So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
