Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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