i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
