That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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