oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
