Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
