The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
