It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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