i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
