I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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