he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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