I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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