Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
