I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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