trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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