when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You need Xanax blowdarts
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
